Friday, July 15, 2011

Beautiful Eyes

I used to write a lot, but haven't in a long time. This was as close as I've come in awhile. It's not that good but, hopefully with some work I'll get back into it again!


It's so cold out. I adjust myself on the bench at the corner of Williams and Derby, monitoring the bright city lights and midnight wanderers as I await my bus. Should be another few minutes. I really don't want to wait, I hate it out here. So cold and lonely. Empty. I stare straight ahead at a glowing neon sign. I always find it funny how attracted we are to them, like moths we are.

The wanderers come and go, most pass but a few decide to sit on the bench with me. I don't want them to. It's strange, I feel so alone but I don't want them near me. So nervous. Paranoia, I guess. Just so anxious the closer they get. They try to make conversation, I feign deafness. I just hope one doesn't know sign language.

It feels like an hour passes, I can't stand this wait. I've been stuck on the bench with the others, and I just want to get back home. I'm almost ready to walk there. I know how unsafe cities are these days, I watch the news. I know what monsters are out there, ready to mug me, beat me, rape me. Thugs, all of them. I just want to be back home in my safe spot.

Finally, bright light from the left; it's the bus. I quickly stand up, keeping my hands nervously close to myself, fingers in pockets so as not to brush against the others. The bus slowly stops and after what seems like an eternity the doors fold open. I attempt to get on first but the bench-sitters push me aside and find their own seats. So heartless, people today. I eventually make my way onto the bus, dropping my fare while making sure not to make eye contact with the bus driver, then make my way down the length of the bus to find a seat.

It feels crowded tonight, the first half of the bus has at least one person per seat, so I make my way towards the back of the bus. The light at the back flickers, guess that's why everyone is crowding at the front. A fear of the dark? Hah, so juvenile. All that remains is a woman hunched at the very back seat, face buried into her book. I take my place two seats adjacent to her.

I think I can relax now. The seat feels a little comfy, comfy enough for the ride at least. I get a view of the city lights and I will admit there is a certain beauty to them. I stare off into the neon logos of various city businesses, amazed that so many have taken to staying up at such an ungodly hour. It again amuses me how distracting pretty lights can be, how we can just take happiness in mere pleasantries for the eyes. I wonder if, subconsciously, I too fall for things like that. After moments of simply letting my eyes wander outside, however long it was, something starts to feel odd. Out of place. Uncomfortable.

I look around the bus, it feels as if eyes are upon me. Everyone at the front of the bus has their eyes focused elsewhere, some talking amongst each other, some staring at the windows as I had been. I turn my head back slowly, trying to be sure that if the person behind me is staring at me she won't notice that I have noticed.

But... oh god, she is and she has. I quickly turn my head back, panicked. What do I do? Why is she watching me? I take deep breaths, trying to relax. Three... two... one. I slowly turn my head back, she's blushing and trying to be sneaky with her gaze.

At first I feel worried, as if something is wrong with me like a large pimple on my neck and she's just eying it, or a case of dandruff that is causing a snow effect on my shoulders. It's only when I stare at her eyes... the most beautiful I've seen.
I feel calm now. Relaxed... even warm. I continue to look her over. Long brunette hair, lightly curled and with just the slightest glow. Porcelain skin that shows off such an adorable blush which gets deeper as she notices I'm staring back at her. I try to give her a smile to show that it's alright, so odd... I never feel like smiling at others. I feel... free. Not anxious. I don't even care that I've probably missed my stop. Feels as though we're the only two left on the bus now, aside from the driver.


Then the lights cease blinking, just darkness now. Anxiety comes back. Maybe I too have a fear of the dark. Maybe I just want to keep seeing her. A happy moment ruined by cheap public transportation. Oh god what was I thinking, trying to make contact with someone I don't know. This isn't like me.


Semi-brightness again, light resumes blinking. The woman is now sitting directly behind me.

“H-h-hello.” I stutter, still not used to talking to strangers... but she's strangely calming. She smiles back, shying a little. I feel relaxed again, just looking into her eyes. I'm calm.

I cannot explain why she appears so beautiful, or why staring deep into her eyes makes me feel so at peace. There's something so unique about her. Skin that appears to smooth and perfect, that beautiful bright smile. She just seems so flawless, except for the eyes. I've heard of this condition before, heterochromia I think. Simply means that her eyes aren't the same colors, doesn't mean anything wrong. In fact, it adds a sort of other worldly beauty to her. I've never actually found another person to be so beautiful, always fancied myself to be asexual even, but those beautiful glowing eyes... I just can't stop looking into them, each a beautiful color. One green, one blue, and one red.


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