Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Please God Wake Me Up

Just another attempt at writing again. I promise, a review'll be up within the next few days.

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I just wanna wake up.

I've been running for so long, longer than I've ever dreamt of anything in my entire life. I know it's a dream, though. None of this, none of this is real. It's still dark out. How can it still be dark out? I've been running so long. Please dear god let me wake up.

I only vaguely remember what I was doing before going to sleep, I guess one can never really remember going to sleep, but I know I'm sleeping. I was laying in bed, trying to get comfortable, trying to shut my eyes but they just didn't want to be shut, I couldn't sleep. Now I don't want to sleep.

I found myself here in the field, the same field I haven't been able to escape. Long, dark green blades of grass that reach up to my hips, the only real color beneath the pitch black sky above me. I've never seen anything like this before, but how do I know that for certain? Am I only dreaming that this is all unfamiliar, or am I lucid enough to recognize that this is unfamiliar? I must be lucid enough, I know this is a dream. I know this is all a dream.

I had heard them behind me when I entered the dream. Or at least when I can, at the earliest, remember how far back in the dream I became lucid enough to realize this was a dream. Maybe it was at the start, I'm not even sure anymore. How long have I been in this dream? They keep following me, I don't know what they are. I can't hear them or see them, but I know they're there, it's like I'm not lucid enough to really see them in my dream, but my body's still reacting to them enough to keep running. I'm getting so tired, my limbs are throbbing in pain, I taste sweat in my mouth. I've never tasted in a dream. Please god wake me up.

Somehow I'm inside. It's like I've skipped ahead in my dream. How did I get here? There's tiny stones, everywhere. I feel like I can't move, or that my body won't move. I realize I don't have control over my body, I'm stuck seeing things through my body's eyes, feeling what my body feels, but my body's actions are merely another part of the dream I'm just not cognizant enough to control yet. At least I'm inside. I'm safe.

I'm outside again, possibly outside of the building I was in only moments ago. Tiny homes, each made of stacked small rocks, all surrounding me. My body won't let me move, but I know I want to move. I don't want to be out here. I can feel them, they're in these homes, they're watching me. They can see me but I can't perceive them. Why won't I wake up?

I feel a blow to my lower right leg, and my body collapses. There I am, laying on flattened grass encircled by these stone houses, I can't move, I can't see them... they're on me. I can feel them on me. I can't move but they're on me, I know they're there! I hear pounding, rhythmic pounding, and then a tightness around my wrists and ankles... my god they're tying me up.

Sounds... I know I can hear something. I can't hear it, but I can at the same time. It's like I'm aware I'm being talked to, without actually perceiving it. Why am I not struggling? What are they doing to me?

I see the stone dagger. Dear god I see it. A vaguely knife shaped tool they've crafted from the same stone they've used on their homes, and I can see it... I feel like I can see them wielding it, but I still can't perceive it. I know they're there, I know it's there.

I feel it. Oh god why do I feel it. It's pushed into the back of my elbow, repeatedly. I've never felt this burning pain before, especially not in a dream. Why won't I wake up? Dear god please let me wake up, please let me wake up, please let me wake up... Don't let them do this to me, wake me up, wake me up. They're breaking my limbs with the rocks, and I can't even see them do this. I know it's happening, I can feel it, but I can't see it. I know it! Wake me up! Wake up!

Dear god no... no... no... I see the rock... I see the rock raised over my chest... over my heart... Please god wake me up. Wake me up so I don't have to feel this. Wake me up. WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP! WAKE

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